Saturday, May 12, 2018

Post(S) Number(S) THREE to ELEVEN: #Search4Sagacity: 50 Things I've Learned in 50 Years

Kind of a cheat as I developed these lessons many years ago...but these can count for Lessons #3-11.




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NEXT in the series that started with this FIRST POST:
https://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2018/05/search4sagacity-50-things-ive-learned.html




Post Number TWO: #Search4Sagacity: 50 Things I've Learned in 50 Years

Post Number TWO:  #Search4Sagacity: 50 Things I've Learned in 50 Years

Lesson 2: 
If you want to feel good in the morning, then
DO NOT DRINK TOO MUCH ALCOHOL the day/night before. 

...and if you do drink too much (even if you didn't drink too much), then I advise drinking two or three LARGE 8 oz glasses of water before you go to sleep.

WAMS big sis, BA and me in 1980something


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Second in the series that started with this FIRST POST:
https://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2018/05/search4sagacity-50-things-ive-learned.html



Thursday, May 10, 2018

#Search4Sagacity: 50 Things I've Learned in 50 Years: Post #1: Listening is Crucial

As I look toward my 50th birthday in June, I want to "deposit" or record important (at least, IMHO, i think these are important) ideas/concepts that I have learned over these past 50 years on Earth.

WARNING: These are going to be brain dumps of the rambling conversations/ideas that are constantly playing in my head, so be warned...go click on something else if you don't care to continue or you don't have the "fortitude" to peak inside my brain...HAHAHAHA.

Edit January 4, 2022: #50LessonsFr50Years series can be found in subsequent entries to my blog through June 2019 where I actually PERSERVERED and completed writing up the full FIFTY LESSONS! 

I don't know everything, but I *DO* know I want to help others, and if OTHERS can learn from MY MISTAKES, then maybe they don't have to endure/suffer the "embarrassment" of making mistakes themselves!??!

Well, as I just typed that, I think, "I don't know if I ever learn anything without going through the experiment of trying, failing and changing tactic...so maybe people *HAVE* to make mistakes and be embarrassed in order to learn, grow, and be better?"

...BUT on the other hand, some people WAY WAY WAY older than me still seem to do STUPID, selfish, self-centered things that are NOT helping themselves, nor others and society.  SOOOOO, in the interest of making this world a better place, I still want to create this "50 Things I've Learned" series of posts on my blog - mainly to ramble along to myself, but if it can help a tiny bit with someone else's journey, well that's just a little BONUS, right!?!?!

I guess it's the "teacher" trapped inside of me that somehow thinks I *MUST* share what I have learned that might be useful to some of the youngins out there...none of this is earth-shattering SAGACITY, and you've probably heard it before...as I reflect more, these are things I am still trying to learn and perfect, so maybe that's why I want to write about them?

ENOUGH ramble, so here goes....here's what popped into my head this morning:

#Search4Sagacity: 50 Things I've Learned in 50 Years - RAMBLE Post ONE: 

Listening is CRUCIAL

If someone trusts you enough to talk to you about something, THEN I SUGGEST (b/c i have lost people over this) that no matter what they want to talk about, if they approach you, chances are they want YOU TO LISTEN.

I bet there's research out there that supports the fact that if someone initiates a conversation, it means THEY want someone to listen.  PERIOD, the END. They want someone to LISTEN.



EASY PEASY:
A. Someone starts talking,
B. Listen (stop what you are doing, turn toward them, make eye contact and OPEN YOUR EARS and mind - focus on the words coming out of their mouth),
C. WAIT for them to ask you a question .....BEFORE you offer advice, solutions or WORSE YET, your own "one-up" story that might minimize their story...

ANYTHING that they want to talk to you about...it could be something that is:

  • Funny
  • Scary
  • Weird
  • Difficult
  • Super Cool
  • Etc...

....WHATEVER it is, if someone CHOOSES YOU to talk to and has the the courage to open up to you with something they feel deeply about or even just some random silly thing they want to share, ALL THEY REALLY WANT is for you to LISTEN. If you only wait for the other person to stop talking so you can express your thoughts and opinions, or to tell your own story, then you are being a JERK....
I probably should have ALREADY learned this years ago when 
I took the Covey "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" 
Training at PPLD back in 2002 -- but we are all "works in progress"!!

I'm not saying to never talk again, but wait to be invited to express what you want to say when someone wanted to tell you something.  OR THINK (NOT OUTLOUD) about what they are saying so that you can understand what they want you to do (IF ANYTHING other than to LISTEN), and you might be helpful to this person.

I know many people do not intentionally make the conversation about themselves, but I do think many people are in a TERRIBLE habit of thinking that talking and offering their story is helpful, or maybe they are just in the TERRIBLE habit of only thinking of themselves and they really don't want to listen to the other person, they are just self-centered enough to think, "hmmmm, something similar happened to me, so let me talk about me..."

NOOOOOO, please wait to be invited to offer up your story if you think it might be helpful. In the meantime, REALLY LISTEN to them.

I have learned that when i only listen to wait for a pause so that I can jump in with what's rattling around in my head (b/c i obviously have a captive audience in this person who came up to talk to the GREAT-AND-WONDERFUL ME), then less and LESS and LESS people start coming to me to talk. They didn't want to hear my story, they wanted me to LISTEN!

Pretty sure I've gained more friends and admirers from my LISTENING skills than my speaking skills...so give it a try. I believe you will benefit.

...thanks for reading (listening). Have a wonderful day!!