Good Weekend and Goal Acheived

Sooooo I've been whining about nobody reading (and/or commenting) on my blog here and i actually have another blog on my weight loss web site at: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=GOSHEILA (where people do randomly comment and help encourage me in my weight loss and healthy living goals).

The other blog is also bookmarked over there to the right on this blog (if in the future you want to track my exercise or caloric intake-LOL)...anyways, i'm not going to make you go there today b/c i just cut and paste it BELOW b/c i'm so very proud of myself at the moment.

Not only am I proud right now, I also had a wonderful weekend....nothing truly spectacular happened, just got to spend time with people who mean the most to me. Quick rundown of the weekend:

Friday night Chris and I went downtown to meet up with Audra at the South Main Trolley Tour night and we saw Lisa at her store Muse (http://museinspiredfashion.com/) and then had dinner at The Majestic. Audra bought some CUTE shoes by Naughty Monkey at Muse, here's a picture of them (but i think they had zebra strips on the heal?):



Saturday we messed around the house most the day and then I took Quinn to a kid's birthday party at Build-A-Bear (her first time there) and then Chris bought home the Star Wars Trilogy and we watched the first one together with the kids. They loved it and I loved it....it's been 32 years since I sat thru the whole movie when it originally came out in 1977!!

Sunday we messed around some too. I went for a run with Jack riding on his bike....that was a FIRST and it was pretty fun for both of us (we went to the park and he rode his bike around in the skate park a bit, too). Then Mo & Lena & the boys came over for family dinner night.

So good weekend and good day today. I thought i was supposed to volunteer in the clinic at Jack's school but i had the wrong day so i got some "free" or "extra" time and I decided to exercise. I also have meeting up w girlfriends tonight to look forward to!!!


So here's the post from my sparkBlog:


It's something...yes, i have acheived a goal today! i ran 3 miles straight at a 10 min/mile pace! it was on the treadmill at home and not in an officially timed race but it was done!! i'm very proud of myself.

i hadnt really planned on trying to accomplish this today but when i got on the treadmill, i was feeling good (mentally and PHYSICALLY) so i decided to go for it. i set the timer for 60 mins and then warmed up at a 15 min pace for 5 mins then turned the speed up to 6 and just settled in and felt really comfortable (actually felt i could go faster but didn't want to wear myself out...slow and steady wins the race, right?). after 30 mins, when i reached my goal, i still had 25 mins left so i cranked up the incline to 15 and did that for about a mile then went back down and decided i needed to get at least 5 miles in today so i ran 3 mins at 7 (about a 9 min/mile pace) and then finished with 5.4 miles and 641 calories burned over the 60 mins!

this was ON TOP of doing 8 min abs and 8 min arms!!!

so i'm completely ready for Margarita Mondays at Mollys---my once a month meet up with some very dear friends!

WAHOOOO!! YAY ME!!!

oh some other good news, i'm below 140 AGAIN (138.6)....and i only have 2 weeks to my original goal of getting to 135 by Easter....so i'm not sure if losing 3-4 pounds in 2 weeks is really feasible, but i'm going to work on it! not going to kill myself for it, but going to put in some effort toward that goal.

Here's something good i read today: "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new beginning." Carl Bard

Sharing Serendipity and Sagacity

I'm still working on and struggling with deepening my spiritual, philosophical and somewhat academic growth. SOOOO, drum-roll please, b/c I found a great name for it:

MY Quest for Sagacity

I have to admit, I really didn't know this word "sagacity" very well up until yesterday when I looked it up. Here are the definitions I found:

"The quality of being discerning, sound in judgment, and farsighted; wisdom."

"The quality of being sage, wise, or able to make good decisions."

I found this word (sagacity), while looking up "serendipity", a word I do know (I even read a whole Business book written about it--there are tons of them now but this one was published in the early 90s when I read it at Leo's recommendation) but was unsure if I had been using it correctly.

Here's serendipity's definition: "An unsought, unintended, or unexpected discovery or occurrence, made by accident and sagacity. "

So WHY was I looking up these words as part of my Quest (shortening its name already)? I felt that so many things were becoming serendipitous in my life lately. The sermons and lectures I have been listening to and the books I have been reading all seem to be "speaking to me" or seem to have just what my heart/mind/soul needs right now. On Monday, I attened (with my awesome inlaws) Rabbi Micah Greenstein's sermon at Calvary's Lenten Series. You can go to: http://calvarymemphis.org/news/lentenseries.htm and you can listen to the podcast 0f his excellent sermon on perservence that I will reflect on later. You can also listen to the other lectures from the Lenten series....I hope to make some time for that as well!

THEN, yesterday I invited a neighbor over for coffee who I knew had some similar interests, and we both had been wanting to get to know one another better but just hadn't made the time for it. Well, WOW! it was a terrific two hour conversation. We both are interested in nonprofit planning and management and shared with one another our journeys. She and I have so much in common, including our vision for a better world through stronger social justice with a spiritual emphasis. Oh, re-reading what I just typed doesn't sound so eloquent, but I'm very excited about this budding new friendship!

Afterwards she sent me a great e-mail packed with lots of information to help me with "My Quest" and I've been "buzzing" inside thinking about all the wonderful possibilities and doors that she is opening for me!

I'm curious to know if I am more open to the messages out there now that I have consciously started this Quest? I've known I've been on a journey for a long time. I've had a mission and goals that I wrote over 10 years ago, but it's now time to re-evaluate my mission and I'm very fortunate that serendipity seems to be aiding me in this Quest!

And here is something that has little to do with Serendipity but a TON to do with Sagacity. These two little humans are not here by chance and they are teaching me tons about wisdom....how is it that a 3 and 5 year old can be such excellent teachers?

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I'd really like people to comment if they read my blog....maybe they just aren't reading it? Or maybe they read it and have "no comment"? But I feel like I had something good to say and then when nobody comments, I wonder if it's a waste of time?

I just have to keep reminding myself that this blog is really for me to "mind-dump" and if it helps someone to see my "mind-dump" once in a while then that is an added bonus. I shouldn't take it so personally (but i do...i'm only human, right?!?!) It is sometimes easier for me to write things down what I'm thinking about (for later sharing with Chris or close friends) b/c once I verbalize it, it sounds sort of silly out loud, or sounds a bit "off" --- the euphemism for crazy.

So all that being said, if you've got a few minutes to waste, please read (and comment if you have another minute to waste) my last post: http://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2009/03/enjoy-little-poetry.html or at least enjoy the poetry at the end of the post and let me know your reacations to it!?!??!

(I just re-read all this after "publishing it" and realized that I am asking too much of people who read my blog....who the hell has time to commit to helping me feel good about what I write? Please excuse my pleas for recognition, it is pretty self-centered and needy....but why else do people write blogs if not to massage their egos a bit!?!?)

Enjoy a little poetry

***Scroll down if you want to skip my rambling to find four good poems****


I'm trying to find coping mechanisms for my "fright" (not really the right word, more "the sense of being scared") for my Dad's health. The most "effective" way (if you can say wasting time is effective) is escaping reality by writing blogs and avoiding my "TO DO" list! Altho, I went back in earlier postings, and saw that I wasn't supposed to do this, see: http://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2008/10/not-gonna.html


I also have been trying to write a special letter to my Dad to tell him how much I appreciate everything he has done for me and taught me, but I keep procrastinating on that (it's half written b/c i was going to give it to him Jan 13 on his birthday) because I get REALLY sad when I think about it.

Reading more and getting back into poetry is another coping mechanism. More about this below, but I also was re-reading earlier posts and I thought about "publishing" some of my poetry here....just gotta try to find that old notebook....I haven't written anything new in years. Maybe I should take some kind of poetry writing workshop...OH NO, not another thing for my "TO DO" list! There's just so much I want to do (see: http://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2009/01/so-many-interests-so-little-time.html)

Another way I cope is to get myself all "wrapped up" in the sorrows or travails of others. I know it is terribly selfish and I hope that I am not being inappropriately "involved" in their problems, but thinking of other people's suffering and trying to help out a little, has been "helping" me cope.

For example, asking for constant prayers (from EVERYONE I KNOW) for the darling angel, Caroline who is NINE, and one of my good neighbor friend's daughter who has cancer and underwent a FIVE organ transplant last summer. In the early stages of her cancer over a year ago, I took meals to their house. She is starting to do much better and her mother gave me a wonderful gift by bringing her out to dinner with us last week at Elfo's. She is a beautiful, young, wise little girl....and I am very fortunate to know her.

Or recently I found out about one of the girls I went to high school with (and wasn't really close with but have been re-acquainting myself with on Facebook) who lost her husband to cancer two years ago. Now there's another girl from high school who is suffering....and we were not really friends with back then, and I haven't even seen her in over 20 years, but she is suffering terribly in a life-threatening situation

I can't seem to "help myself" from trying to be "helpful" to others in tough situations....so I'm also turning to the written word to "help".

So yesterday I searched for close to an hour to find a nice little "gift" poem to send to her. I felt compelled to send her something.

I just cannot imagine what her family must be going thru, not to mention her! I'm sure they are very hopeful and praying for a full recovery, and the last thing I want to do is send a poem that sounds like she's close to the end.

I have been signing her online guestbook where her husband posts updates on her health for a few months now. He recently appealed to people to send her more notes, as she is now more aware and conscious and loves hearing the notes read to her. I thought a poem would be a little different and interesting to her than the regular, "I'm praying for you." and "You are in my thoughts." messages that sick people usually receive. I hope I was right!
It's amazing how difficult it is to try to find an appropriate poem that would be motivating and somewhat helpful when her situation is so extremely dire, and she may be close to "going to the other side." I even sort of thought about sending some jokes to help her laugh (they say "laughter is the best medicine"). But, of course, since i was never very close to her, I have no idea what she would enjoy. I also didn't want a hokey, sappy or corny poem like you see in church bulletins. I wanted something really beautiful and real.

Well, this first poem by Rilke (below) is what I ended up sending. I hope it was the right thing. I hope she did enjoy it and had a few moments of happiness having it read to her.

I decided to post a few others in case you are in the mood to read a little poetry. Here are a few poetry sites if you want to search for more poems (many times you can search by topic and poet):

http://www.poetryconnection.net/

http://www.poetseers.org/

OH, and I cannot write about poetry without mentioning one of my dear friends from high school (who I have also NOT seen in over 20 years, but was very close with back then), Leigh Anne Couch, who has published a book of her own poetry called (scratch that TWO poetry collections) called Houses Fly Away and Green and Helpless. I only knew about Green and Helpless, now I have to get the newer one! I'll paste one of her poems below too! Here's her publisher's website: http://www.blackbird.vcu.edu/v6n1/poetry/couch_l/index.htm

I hope she doesn't mind me "stealing" this picture of her off that website but it's so typically HER and I love her spirit soooo much! YES, you can love someone you haven't seen in over 20 years...oh, i'm so glad that is true!

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Early Spring


Harshness Vanished.

A sudden softness has replaced the meadows' wintry grey.

Little rivulets of water changed

their singing accents. Tenderness,

hesitantly, reach toward the earth

from space, and country lanes are showing

these unexpected subtle risings

that find expression in the empty trees.


Rainer Maria Rilke
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Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost
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The Chance to Love Everything
All summer I made friends
with the creatures nearby ---
they flowed through the fields
and under the tent walls,
or padded through the door,
grinning through their many teeth,
looking for seeds,
suet, sugar; muttering and humming,
opening the breadbox, happiest when
there was milk and music. But once
in the night I heard a sound
outside the door, the canvas
bulged slightly ---something
was pressing inward at eye level.
I watched, trembling, sure I had heard
the click of claws, the smack of lips
outside my gauzy house ---
I imagined the red eyes,
the broad tongue, the enormous lap.
Would it be friendly too?
Fear defeated me. And yet,
not in faith and not in madness
but with the courage I thought
my dream deserved,
I stepped outside. It was gone.
Then I whirled at the sound of some
shambling tonnage.
Did I see a black haunch slipping
back through the trees? Did I see
the moonlight shining on it?
Did I actually reach out my arms
toward it, toward paradise falling, like
the fading of the dearest, wildest hope ---
the dark heart of the story that is all
the reason for its telling?

Mary Oliver
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Learning to Use the Stick


Let's say you're a blind boy in the street

jabbering nervously at the teacher
walking backwards in front of you.

He moves, and you toward him,
the traffic against you both. Not knowing

what's to come and when you'll fall
makes you fall to the curb and refuse to move.

It doesn't matter. You'll have to get up
and learn again the town isn't empty

just crossing to the other side
to make room in your stretch of nothingness.

Blindness is anything but that—
it's not black velvet or a locked closet either,

but a place you imagine is time itself
where ideas are as real as the lamp you knock over

again. You'll have to get up
and start learning to keep your eyes closed

for the seeing who can't bear to see them.
The hardest is learning you're not alone,

the nothing you maneuver through
is the something we're all born into—

Now, let's say I take you up
on your offer of coffee sometime.

I walk blindly into your story. I'm a character
there. I walk blindly into your body.

I'm a character there, and language is
the stick, or faith, or violence, or love is.

Learning to use the stick, tapping the walk,
gently stirring and parting the air, making

doorways to push yourself through,
learning there's no use looking down.

Leigh Anne Couch

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various things i'm thinking about today

Funny: Quinn just said, as she was sitting on the potty, "Mommy, I need to whisper something in your ear." And I said, "There's nobody here but you and me so you don't have to whisper." But I put my ear by her mouth and she said, "I love you." And then she said she didn't want the penguins in the bathtub to hear her. LOL....i go from these fun, happy moments to the opposite extreme ALL day long!!! She could be crying about her hair looking bad and then laughing about some random thing...OH, the drama! But at least I DO HAVE these sweet moments to look forward to!

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Here's another extreme:

My stomach still hurts today. I'm really worried. I'm headed to Atlanta on Sat for Spring Break w Jack and Quinn. My dad has a "photodynamic therapy" procedure this week and then he cannot be in the sun or bright lights for SIX weeks! ugh! He started coughing up blood last week b/c the tumor is putting pressure on his windpipe so they (the pulmonary specialists) are trying to make him more comfortable. He meets with his regular oncologist today to discuss the "bigger picture". He has so many different docs, its kind of hard to follow what is really going on....hopefully during this visit I can get a better grasp!

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Now, here's one of those "get-to-know-you-better" chain listing thingees that people send on FB and e-mail that i just spent 20 minutes responding to, so i'd thought i'd post it here to for my legions of blogger followers (who are all mostly friends on FB so it's a REPEAT to them):

Four names that people call me:

1. Sheila Ann

2. Sheila

3. Sweetie

4. Mommy

Four jobs I have had:

1. Library Page

2. Fundraiser

3. High School Teacher

4. Kroger bagger

Four Places I have lived:

1. Nashville, TN

2. Greenville, SC

3. Monument, CO

4. Atlanta, GA

Four places I have been:

1. New York, NY

2. Rome, Italy

3. Munich, Germany

4. Minocqua, WI

Four things I need to get done:

1. Laundry

2. Update IPod

3. Work on Memo's Genealogy

4. New bed for Jack

Four things I am proud of:

1. My family - ALL of them (hubby, kids, parents, in-laws, bro, sistas, BILs, SILs, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, grandmother, etc, etc)

2. Top 40 Under 40 CSBJ

3. Developing a healthy lifestyle (better eating and more exercise)

4. My friends

Four People who e-mail me (regularly):

1. Dogwood Elementary

2. Sister

3. wine store(s)

4. In-laws

Four of my favorite foods:

1. sushi

2. steak

3. brownies

4. red bell peppers

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1. at the beach

2. Colorado

3. Italy

4. a spa

Four Best Memories:

1. kids' births

2. wedding day

3. college....and/or Graceland w Barb

4. trips

Four pets i have owned:

1. dog, McTuff

2. dog, Rosa

3. a bird named Feathers (but it was really my little sister's pet)

4. turtles (that i killed at age 3 by trying to give them a bath and putting soap in their water)

Four things I am looking forward to this year: (BA, i needed this one, i need to count my blessings and be more positive...i've been kind of worrying about the things i'm NOT looking forward to)

1. Trips and visits w friends and family

2. Quinn's first ballet recital

3. Jack's first t-ball game(s)

4. Easter, 4th of July, Kid's bdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas!

Four TV shows that I watch:

1. Damages

2. Biggest Loser

3. Guiding Light

4. Amazing Race

Four things I would change in the world:

1. war & violence

2. poverty & hunger

3. racism

4. cures for illnesses (esp CANCER)

Four things i am scared of:

1. something happening to my children

2. cancer

3. ghosts (oh yeah, i think there's a childlike ghost that has visited me TWICE at night waking me from sleep by running around and then sort of moaning and/or laughing...I KNOW I AM AWAKE so this is very strange)

4. wierdos

Four songs that never get old: this is a tough one! because there are way too many!

1. What I Like About You

2. The Chicken Dance!

3. Paradise by the Dashboard Light

4. Walkin on Sunshine

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That's all for now, i've really gotta go get that "Things I need to get done" list going and Quinn wants to play on the computer!

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Tiny Backslide

Got some not so good news about Dad yesterday (he began coughing up blood and the mass in his lung is pushing on his windpipe and they have to do a "procedure" this week)....AND, I had already started "taking a little break" since last Thursday (Mar 5) of being on my good diet track and losing SEVEN pounds in THREE weeks!!!

So i'm just giving a quick update that my four day vacation from being healthy (eating decent and better exercise, altho i did do 4.15 miles on Sat), that the scale started going the WRONG freakin direction today. you can see a bit more on my weight loss blog: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=GOSHEILA

However, this is only a teeny tiny slip up and i'm still pretty strong, but really sad and scared for my Dad and my whole family. I think i'm making my stomach upset by this worry...it's been kind of hurting since yesterday morning...altho, it may be the drinking i did this weekend after being off drinking for a week and it could be my stomach adjusting from not getting hardly ANY carbs for 3 weeks to a little bit of an influx of carbs....plus i'm getting back to fruits and veggies today and taking a break from the low carb diet (even tho it was quite successful, i'd rather know i'm giving myself better nutrition....).

Ramble ramble ramble.....gotta go get some stuff done around the house while the kids are gone at school and read my book and give myself a little break. AND i want to get my exercise in before i pick up Q at 2:30 so that i can shower before getting J at the bus stop at 4 b/c he has t-ball practice at 5:30 (altho it might rain....kind of hoping on that right now....but he would be so disappointed). ramble, ramble, ramble.....

I did want to share this from my weight loss blog, in case you don't go over there:

So on Biggest Loser last week, the blue team got to workout w Sugar Ray Leonard who had a great motto:

POWER is an acronym for:

P=Prepare
O=Overcome
W=Win
E=Every
R=Round

I've been telling myself this ever since watching it last week....every time i think about eating I have to Prepare, Overcome, Win, Every, Round....so that I chose the right things to eat (or NOT eat or drink or NOT drink). I also have to use this to psyche myself up to exercise. I think it's a great little "mantra" to keep in my head.