I am trying to sort it all out, here's what I wrote in my notebook on 3/19/2012 (it burned in me on the way to work and I scratched it out in the car before going into the office):
God is trying to tell me something. I've really got to try harder to listen. I know it has something to do with collaboration and strengthening or transforming my community. I know it has something to do with Girls Inc., Women's Quarterly, CTC, being a Christian, and working with nonprofits. I know it has something to do with ecumenicalism and having a passion to help others who are struggliing -- and I mean struggling in a very BROAD sense -- struggling to find food, struggling for a better education, struggling to find happiness, struggling for peace, etc. etc. etc. WHAT AM I BEING told and WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Moving to Girls Inc and becoming part-time was a GREAT move! I feel like I'm doing sooooo much better in the "MOM", "WIFE" and "HEALTHY Sheila" departments/roles. But I do feel stressed that if I'm not better in the "CAREER" department, then I might lose this great opportunity at Girls Inc. (they might be dissatisfied w me being part-time and not able to live up to their expectations/goals).
So on my walk/run yesterday, it is starting to become clearer that I must focus in on ONE project (outside of being "MOM" and "WIFE") and give all my energy, time, talent and money to that ONE project if I want to make a true difference. Spreading my time around to so many projects is not really effective. It makes me happy to be helpful in all these situations, but I'm not doing my BEST or being EXCELLENT at anything...only being kind of good at many things. But I struggle to determine where I need to cut back...kids, home, kids' school, work (www.girlsincmemphis.org), Gtwn Education Foundation, Center for Transforming Communities, Girl Scouts, family, friends, etc....
It all seems so important to keep involved with these various groups and various people....they all may be the key to the "collaboration" part of what God is trying to get me to understand....
But it is also becoming clear that I am very passionate about Girls Inc's mission and that is truly where I want to focus. However, I need to finish out this last month of the fiscal year with a BANG (meaning more $$ for them) so that they will retain me.
UGH--was interrupted by a phone call from ANOTHER great organization who want me to serve on their board....WHAT TO DO!?!??!
3 comments:
You will always have more requests than you can possible fulfill. That will be true when your children are grown too. Those requests for your time won't go away, promise. I can tell you this though, you will never regret a single moment you devote to your kids as opposed to your volunteer activities. And the return is the greatest with your kids. Who can impact them more than you? Trust that the universe will reward you with exciting career opportunities when they are grown, more board seats than you can possibly sit on, and more chances to change your community than you can possibly do. You are enough. Your family is enough. What you are doing now as a part-timer is enough. Relax and enjoy.
thanks Karen....just now seeing this. it helps to hear your advice!!
as a follow-up to this post... I guess i knew this was coming, but i have completed my work for Girls Inc in accordance w my contract and have mutually agreed w the board that we were on different "wave-lengths" so I will no longer be assisting them....sad, but it's the right thing for now.
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